Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
