One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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