Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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