I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
