Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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