dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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