I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
