You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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