I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
