New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
