Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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