No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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