just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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