i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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