Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am available for nakedness
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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