I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
