I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
