Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
