When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
