Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
