I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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