I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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