Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
