This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize