she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
of course. lets lasso hookers.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
