Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
