what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
