well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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