I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
