i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Alive.
So much puke
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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