i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My vagina is officially offended.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
