Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
