you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
