Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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