Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
