She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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