No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
