my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
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