ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
