yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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