Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I need a burrito and a hug.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
