end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
