he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
