Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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