his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
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Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize