And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
