im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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