Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
