kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
