After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't put those talents on a resume
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
