I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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