So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
