so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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