She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My bed smells like the plague
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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