Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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