I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
