Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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