oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
