when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
