I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize