just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
