Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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