I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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