like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
