Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
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spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
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$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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