in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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