Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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