He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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