I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
