rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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