is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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