Define "chronic" masturbator.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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